Dear Mother,

Yes, you heard me right. Even with all of your imperfections, guilts and insecurities. Even though you yell sometimes and cry sometimes. YOU are the mama who can love your child most. 

In some crazy cosmic way, your child chose YOU. And YOU chose your child.

Maybe that’s partly because there is something you have to learn from your child.

Maybe your child is just like you, and so you have a chance to do things differently, to understand him or her so deeply, to stop cycles of hurt that have lived in your family for generations. Maybe because you are so alike, your child knows how to push every single button.

Maybe your child is so different from you that you stare at him or her and wonder how that child came from your body. So it doesn’t come naturally, but you have this crazy love and crazy pain that has to be dealt with. You have the opportunity to love into the differences, to resist the urge to make your child like you, to embrace those differences and to love your child into freedom.

If you let it happen, your child will teach you the presence of Eckhart Tolle, the patience of Mother Teresa, the dignity of Rosa Parks and the peace of Gandhi.

And maybe your child chose you because you have something to offer your child that only you can offer.

Do not neglect yourself in motherhood. Instead, explore yourself more deeply. Your child was born to you because you have something to offer that only you can offer. Dig deep into yourself to find, again and again, more aspects of you-ness to offer your child. Instead of trolling Pinterest to learn to make the perfect Easter treats, create the best summer activities, and cook the most nutritionally-balanced-yet-still-edible dinners, troll your inner world to discover your deepest values, the things that make you so happy you could cry, and the messages from your heart that you yearn to share with your child – and share all of those with abandon.

Mostly, Mama, forgive yourself, love yourself, and nurture yourself, as you do your child. Again and again, reach for gentleness when you want to reach for self-blame.

You are exactly the mom that your child needs.


Lisa Kathleen and Full Circle Parenting