Posts tagged Confidence

School and Learning and Life – Read This To Be Inspired

PerfectChild

In this moment, I am profoundly inspired by my awareness of the perfect individuality of every child.

On the eve of a new school year, I want to call out to all the parents who worry that their child will lose her “spark”, be stifled at school, or worse yet, not learn his math facts.

I invite you to fan the flame, encourage the learning of full self-expression drenched in kindness and consideration for others, and nurture the love of math for its own sake.

Here is the bottom line.

Your child has a profound spark, a fire within, that drives him or her to learn, to grow, and to live in positive, nurturing, connected relationship with others. He or she is always driving towards, leaning in, even when he or she seems to be pulling back, afraid, or shutting down. The fire is always there.

You have a profound ability to see your child’s spark – and a profound ability to see his or her failings, too.

Your unfaltering affection for your child, your deep, deep trust in his or her worthiness and glorious human strengths, your constant redirecting of everyone’s attention (including and especially your own) to the shining of those strengths, to the places where growth has occurred, and to the wise and vulnerable soul of your precious child, is key.

In some ways, this is a message for your child’s teachers, BUT, when your child comes home to YOUR unwavering awareness of the miracle of his or her being, and to your dedication to his or her potential for joy and kindness and learning and skill and meaning and the GIVING BACK of those human strengths for the good of others, THAT is where the spark is fanned, the fire is fed and the reaching for powerful human potential becomes firmly entrenched in your child’s way of being.

If I were in school right now, that would be a run-on sentence. But, read it again. It will empower you to be the support your child needs.

From the beginning, respect your child’s learning process. Every child is a perfect individual – there is no other alike. Revel in the glorious humanity of your child, harness strengths, make peace with their process, and help them see their own way of learning. 

When you can do this, successfully and consistently, yourself, you will empower your child to thrive in environments away from you, AND you will hone your own awareness of whether the school or schooling situation that you’ve chosen for your child is truly nurturing to him or her. If it is, you will celebrate in your heart. If it is not, you will know how to look for another – you will feel the alignment of the teacher or school with your own habit of glorying in your child’s being.

Last night I stayed up late reading one of the most inspiring books I know – it is called “Children Who Are Not Yet Peaceful” by Donna Bryant Goertz, and it will give you the inspiration, and tools and keys to see the profound beauty of your child’s individuality. If you’re faltering now, worrying about math facts or handwriting or bullying or whether your child will live up to someone else’s (or your own) standards of right learning this year, and if you’re losing your own focus on the miracle of humanity that your child is, I invite you to pick up this book, and stay up late, tearful and joyful, as you are re-awakened to your own appreciation for your child’s potential. If you’re in Calgary, you can call and order the book through Self-Connection Books (403-284-1486), or click here for the link to order on Amazon. I’d love to see this book in the hands of every human. Adults need this kind of care, too.

May your child’s school year start off with joy and fullness, and the knowledge of his or her own brilliance.

For practical ideas on how to support your child’s school experience, click here.

 

Messages Our Girls Need to Hear

Dancing Princess

As this year’s Princess Training Camp draws nearer, I am thinking about some of the key messages that I want to share with the girls, in a positive, light and fun way. Here are some of them:

Our girls need to know that their bodies, personalities, strengths, and beliefs are unique, and that this is A Really Good Thing.

Our girls need to know that each of us, in our individual & quirky & chosen & born-that-way kind of ways, is exactly perfect, and that we can collude with our friends to create supportive, loving Circles of appreciation and respect, where each of us can shine and share the yearnings and beauty and passion and power and love in our hearts.

Our girls need to know that being a princess is about serving, not about being served.

Our girls need to know that beauty is powerful, and that physical beauty is not about erasing, hiding, correcting, or photoshopping. It’s about being who you are, sharing your you-ness, whether that means frilly dresses and jewels, or plain comfy jeans, or funky unmatched socks and a bright orange t-shirt, today, because every day is different, and how you feel and how you want to show up in the world can change daily and hourly.

Tea

Our girls need to know that the purpose of make-up is to draw attention to the eyes, because the eyes are the windows to our souls, and the doors to connecting with other people’s hearts.

Our girls need to know that dressing up in fancy clothes and wearing make-up and doing our hair can be Fun, but that it is not a requirement for beauty or happiness or love.

Our girls need to know that we live in the most privileged time in history, that we have access to so much more than most “real” princesses ever had, that gratitude is the key to happiness, and that our greatest privilege is that we can make a difference in the lives of others.

Go here to find out all about Princess Training Camp for your 6-9 year old daughter, and please post below about what messages you think our girls need to hear!

What Most Parents Don’t Know That Can Change Everything

March-27-2012-061-150x150

This is the key that can change everything: “Create the environment that inspires the child to concentrate.” This means creating the physical, mental, emotional, and social environments which, more than anything, DO NOT IMPEDE the child’s natural tendencies to learn and explore.  (This is Montessori’s most all-encompassing principle.)

For a small child, this first means “baby-proofing”, so that the child can move freely and safely about in the home as much as possible. It means creating the baby’s environment so that when she first pulls herself towards one of the few fascinating household objects you have carefully placed in her environment, she hears, “Yes, that’s for you to explore!” rather than “Don’t touch that!”

The 0-6 year-old, in the sensitive period for order, is reassured by a regular schedule, and an ordered environment. Forming his view of the world, he is thrilled by the knowledge that the bucket belongs HERE, hats are for wearing outside, and we eat breakfast after getting dressed.

For both young children and adolescents, creating the environment means providing a clean, uncluttered place to work, as much as possible, and providing real and meaningful materials that fascinate the child and inspire challenging yet achievable work.

As elementary-aged children develop interests in science or history, it means providing opportunities to acquire books, meet experts, explore rivers, see plays, or listen to music that is related to the interest.

It means thinking of yourself more as a support person than a director of your child, from the earliest days. Your child will always, from birth, let you know what he or she needs to learn if you observe first, rather than instruct. Your role is to create the environment that supports your child’s natural development.

In creating an environment that supports fascination and concentration, you allow the child the maximum opportunity to be calm, confident, cooperative, and joyful – all of which combine to inspire a child that enjoys the process of becoming self-disciplined.

Good frustration comes as you overcome challenges as you learn something new. Bad frustration happens when learning is impeded.

Children raised this way “obey with joy” (most of the time), because a child who is allowed to do her work, and to follow her internal drive to learn, may have lots of “good” frustration, which comes from learning something new and difficult.

But, the child has very little “bad” frustration, which impedes learning. A great majority of “bad” frustration is brought on by well-meaning “helpful” adults, who tie shoes, clean up messes, wipe noses, tell the 6-12 year-old what to do with the dollar they find on the street, or otherwise interrupt the child’s efforts to act in the world.

If we listen closely, we can recognize the child’s actions as saying, “Help me to do it by myself.” (~Maria Montessori)

So, that’s it – so simple!  Most parents don’t realize the importance of intentionally structuring the child’s environment to inspire concentration. When you do, it can change everything.

If you want help creating the environment that will inspire your child to concentrate, become more peaceful, and build self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth, call me to see if coaching might be a fit for you.  I’d love to support you in supporting your child…403-607-1463.

 

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