Showing Love to Your Children
I love the idea that Jean Liedloff describes in her book, “The Continuum Concept”. She says that in the native culture that she visited that inspired the thoughts in her book, the adults consistently projected an attitude of “worthy and welcome” towards the children.
It is possible (though not always easy) to express any emotion that you are having, while still projecting this attitude towards your children. Even when you don’t like something your child has done, take a breath and think about how you can share your feedback while still reminding your child that he or she is worthy of your love and attention, and welcome in your life.
“The Continuum Concept” is a fascinating book that describes a culture in which children’s needs are met with ease and grace. It’s a short, simple book that will give you lots to think about!
Another concept that shifts my experience of love entails a powerful shift in thinking about love. Instead of thinking that you NEED love, thinking that you ARE love, endlessly and always flowing, can create a profound shift in your own energy around love. Especially when we are feeling as if we are constantly providing love, we can sometimes feel like there is a bottom to our ability to offer. When we believe that we ARE love, there is no end, no neediness, and no need to expect love in return.
The book “The Five Love Languages” reminds us of another powerful way to think about love and connect. Everybody feels love differently, so the way you send your loving messages will differ depending on your child’s “love language”. I believe that there are many more love languages, and many nuances, accents and dialects of all these languages, but the five languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, time spent and acts of service. Feeling into the uniqueness of your own special children with these in mind will give you insights about how to offer your love in ways that each child understands.
Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day, sharing, and living your love!